


Simple Heartbreak

by SleepySsnail



Series: Hello Heartbreak [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oblivious, One-Sided Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, how to tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 07:09:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16471070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepySsnail/pseuds/SleepySsnail
Summary: Virgil knew what it was like to love, to feel joy and admiration for one person so much it was breathtaking. He also knew heartbreak like an old friend.





	Simple Heartbreak

It burned.

Hatred coursed through Virgil as he gripped the steering wheel of his truck, his knuckles turning white with how hard he was gripping the wheel. Taking a deep breath, Virgil felt the heat of anger in his chest slowly subside as he attempted to calm down. Turning the key in the ignition Virgil felt his muscles tense as the CD Roman lent him blasted through the speakers, the recent memories he was trying to ignore pushing their way to the surface.

It was supposed to be a simple study group. Just four friends getting together to study for finals, Logan couldn’t come until late but Virgil figured he and the two lovebirds could get some work done in the meantime. Virgil hated calling Roman and Patton lovebirds, but it wasn’t a total lie. Roman and Patton were almost always with each other; if one was invited somewhere the other was sure to come too. It made Virgil want to scream.

But it was the simple act of Roman kissing Patton lightly on the cheek after he finally grasped a math equation that broke something in him. Virgil’s gut twisted painfully as the ugly feeling of envy crept into his throat and made him aware of how much he wanted Roman to do that to him. But instead of saying anything Virgil swallowed his emotions and quickly shoved his chemistry work into his bag, mumbling an excuse about being called in for an extra shift at his work. Patton nodded, still too focused on his review to really notice what Virgil said.

Roman raised an eyebrow curiously as he wrapped an arm around Patton and said, “Text us later okay? We have that English review to go over.”

_Text us._ Patton and Roman had an open sharing policy with their phones, never stopping the other from looking at something or texting someone. Both Roman and Patton would start a conversation with Virgil and he would panic because he didn’t know who he was talking to. Patton and Roman always forgot to say who was talking, but Virgil could try and guess based on the amount of emojis used or the lack of puns. Virgil hadn’t had a completely open and honest conversation with Patton since the phone sharing began three months earlier.

Snapping back to the present, Virgil stared at the stereo as the song continued, all of the negative thoughts coming to the surface the more he tried to push them down. It wasn’t fair that Roman didn’t love him. It wasn’t kind to flaunt their romance in front of Virgil like he didn’t exist. It wasn’t right for Patton to put all the years of friendship he had with Virgil aside to constantly and always prioritize Roman. It wasn’t fair that Virgil was angry at his best friend. It wasn’t fair that he hated himself for falling for someone who would never love him back. It wasn’t fair that he thought that the one person could make him feel wanted and desired would make him feel unwanted and worthless.

Heat flooded Virgil’s chest and blood rushed in his ears at everything. Taking one long breath Virgil let himself scream. Turning the volume of the stereo up, Virgil let out another shriek, his throat burning with the sensation as he pounded his fist on the steering wheel once before grabbing it and took another breath to let out. The song changed, leaving enough time during the transition for Virgil to hear how pathetic he sounded as he screamed. Before he knew it angry tears were falling from his eyes, dripping on his jeans and hoodie as he gasped for air. Swallowing, Virgil realized how raw and sore his throat was, but he didn’t think about that as he choked on his tears trying to stop himself from crying.

Loosening his grip on the wheel, Virgil rested his forehead on it and bit his lip to try and keep himself from bursting at the seams. Feeling more tears slip free, Virgil fumbled for his phone to make a call. He didn’t want to be alone, but he couldn’t go back to the library and see Roman and Patton holding hands and looking at each other like-

“Hello?”

Virgil inhaled sharply, wincing at the soreness in his throat. Placing a hand on his neck, Virgil tried to think of what to say but came up empty. Was he so pathetic that he had to beg a friend he only knew for two semesters to come console him?

“Virgil, are you alright?” Logan asked, his tone sounding slightly worried over the phone.

“No,” Virgil stated, another sob building in his chest.

Clamping a hand over his mouth to try and stop himself, Virgil’s shoulders shook as he choked out a small cry. Removing his hand, he inhaled deeply suddenly not caring if Logan heard him.

There was a pause before Logan asked, “Virgil where are you? I’m coming to help.”

Swallowing thickly, Virgil mumbled, “Campus. Parking lot near the library.”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Logan stated, and a small sense of relief coupled with the stress of potentially being ridiculed washed over Virgil. “Could you tell me what’s wrong?” Logan continued.

“I don’t know,” Virgil stated.

It wasn’t a lie. He didn’t know why he couldn’t just be happy for Patton. He didn’t know why he couldn’t just let go of what he felt for Roman. He didn’t know why he called Logan of all people. He didn’t know why he even bothered trying to talk to his best friend when it was obvious he wasn’t as important.

“That’s perfectly acceptable,” Logan commented, his tone changing slightly. “I’m turning into the campus now, are you in your car?”

Virgil nodded once as he muttered, “Yeah.”

The call ended. Virgil dropped his phone on the passenger seat and leaned back. Closing his eyes, Virgil tried to clear his head so he wouldn’t be as big a mess for Logan to fix. Images of Patton and Roman being happy ran through Virgil’s mind, making him feel angry again. So many times he and Patton had arranged to do something and then Roman would show up with no warning and it would turn into date night with a third wheel, or even worse was when Patton canceled a movie night with Virgil and Logan to go to an ice rink with Roman last minute.

Virgil knew he wasn’t as important anymore. He knew relationships took work, but so did friendships. He knew that Patton didn’t mean harm, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

A simple knocking on the window caused Virgil to glance up and see Logan open the door to the truck and study him. Bringing his arm up to wipe his face, Virgil muttered an apology. Finally meeting Logan’s eyes, Virgil flinched at the obvious anger held in them and he wondered what important thing he interrupted to get Logan so mad.

Without hesitation, Logan reached out slowly and gently placed a hand on Virgil’s arm, guiding him out of the truck, and said, “You don’t have to say anything. But I hate whoever made you feel this way.”

Virgil’s eyes burned as more tears welled up and fell down his cheeks at Logan’s comment. He would change his mind. He couldn’t hate Patton and even if he thought Roman was annoying there was no way hatred would be associated with him. Opening his mouth to say another apology, Virgil felt himself whine and let out a long-suppressed cry accompanied by more crying.

Logan’s expression softened as he gently pulled Virgil into a hug, rubbing circles on his back and only saying, “Let it out.”

rubbing his face on Logan’s blue flannel shirt, Virgil sniffed loudly and muttered, “Please don’t tell Pat or Roman.”

“I didn’t intend to,” Logan stated, his monotone voice tinted with anger. “What can I do for you?”

Virgil gripped Logan’s shirt tighter not wanting to be let go of yet. Pressing his face into Logan’s shoulder, Virgil shook his head and took a shaky breath. Logan’s arms felt secure around Virgil, protective even, grounding him and putting everything back in perspective.

Slowly, Virgil said, “Have you ever had a really bad crush on someone, and they never even considered loving you back?”

Logan tensed for a moment before relaxing and answering, “Yes.”

“That’s what’s going on. I hate it,” Virgil said. his voice wavering.

“I know,” Logan said knowingly as he rubbed Virgil’s back slowly. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a while ago and finally decided to put it here. This is also on [my tumblr](https://sleepyssnail.tumblr.com/post/179590904702/simple-heartbreak) along with the sequel piece that I'll put here soon. I just like angst.


End file.
